This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize