you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
