is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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