The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
