I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
