Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
