He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
