R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
