My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
