I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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