well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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