Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
