Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
