i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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