I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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