Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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