Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
3 2 1 whiskey
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
