can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
