OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
COCAINE IS GR8
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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