Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
