I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I look better un-naked...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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