I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
