Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i would punch a child for taco bell
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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