Need sex. Gaining weight.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
