when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
did you just send me my own nude
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
