so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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