...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
