i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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