I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
