Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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