no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
