Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
