I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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