Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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