I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize