I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
