a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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