how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
