sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize