it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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