We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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