Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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