I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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