Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
