I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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