Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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