and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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