My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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