Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
