dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
