at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
