Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
