My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
