so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
