I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
