and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
