Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I understand Curling. That high.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
