Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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