i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
