I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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