Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
