but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
time to smoke my breakfast
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
