My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
